So I have this editor. For now we’ll call him… Winter. Yes, that’s it. Winter. Good name considering the month we are currently in. He has a best friend, we shall call him… Dr. Evil. So one day, Winter and Dr. Evil met for a wonderful cup of hot chocolate, under the beautiful night sky. Love was in the air, or maybe it was just plain horniness. Dr. Evil gave Winter the bad news. He has HIV.
But in the time that Winter and Dr. Evil have been “best friends“, Winter did a stupid thing for a perfectly young 22 year old who is HIV negative. He went and fell in love with Dr. Evil. Yes, like Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissina in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, except neither Winter nor Dr. Evil are spies, and neither of them are shagging each other. Therein lies the problem.
Winter loves Dr. Evil, and if it meant he could have Dr. Evil would even get HIV to ease his love’s conscious. But Dr. Evil doesn’t want Winter to get HIV, and is afraid that even if they use protection, he may still get it anyway. Sadly it is true that even with just a little sexual contact, Winter could get HIV from his lover.
There are known to be “bug parties” where HIV negative people go to purposely get HIV.
“Getting fucked without a condom by an HIV positive person is a high-risk sexually activity—about 1 in 50 times that will result in HIV transmission.. There is certainly no guarantee that you got HIV, but there is a chance. Duration of intercourse, top or bottom position, infectiousness of HIV+ partner, and presence of STDs in either partner are important factors in assessing the risk of viral transmission.” – Dr. K writing at gay.com.
So the question is, what are the ethics of my editor becoming infected purposely to be with the man he loves? He’s convinced that Dr. Evil will shun him and be extremely upset that he got infected on purpose. I can’t say I disagree with his assessment. But is it right for him to do that, for love? Or what if he just stopped caring weather or not he gets infected?
Or should he let his lover infect him instead, so they can “get it over with” and thus don’t have to live with the fear of getting infected?
Or should they love each other as-is, and as long as they practice safe sex, not worry?
Or is Dr. Evil right in avoiding Winter sexually?
I cannot say I envy Winter. I wouldn’t do it myself, but I’m also not in love with someone who has HIV. Nor would I want to burden the health system with that. As for the actual ethics, that is between him and whatever Gods he chooses to worship.
Cheers.